White

and you have been
so white for me,
changing so

from a five petal'd flower
in so many shades:
from a tungsten glow,
to pearly,
and the rich blankness
under the sun;
deepening purple
under an inky sky,

to the white
of sea foam
furious, churning
a salty ghost
but really
just froth and motion
nothing but air
speckled with the sea

and to the white
of death
of pale bodies,
of the sheets over them,
and fear and revulsion;
the white
of a dying sky
bleached by rains
shunned by light
empty, endless
shallow;
the color
of quitting,
of there having been
nothing at all
to leave a mark under;
of not just an end
but of nonexistence